WHERE’S THE QUIRK?!

WATCH OUT FOX THERE’S A NEW MCVITES BISCUIT IN TOWN AND ITS HERE TO TAKE TEA BREAKS TO ANOTHER LEVEL…ERH WELL NOT QUITE! HMMMM
WHENEVER I GO DOWN THE BISCUIT AISLE OR REALLY STEP INTO A SUPERMARKET AND FACED WITH THE NEW BISCUIT OFFER STAND, YOU CAN’T HELP BUT SLIP A PACKET IN YOUR BASKET AND SPENDING THAT EXTRA £1 TO TASTE THE EXCLUSIVE PRODUCT, IN THE HOPES ITS YOUR NEW FAVOURITE GUILTY INDULGENT PLEASURE. BUT I’M NOT SURE WHAT EXACTLY SURE WHAT THE ‘QUIRK’ IS ALL ABOUT.
EXCITED I REACH MY DESK A READY WITH MY AFTERNOON ‘PICK ME UP’ COFFEE READY FOR THAT DUNKING YUM! FIRST BISCUIT DOESN’T GET DUNKED AS ITS PURELY FOR TASTE, AND ON MY FIRST INSTANCE IT WAS….’HMMM OK, CHOCOLATE FILLED BISCUIT’…MAYBE I WAS MISSING SOMETHING..SO I POP ANOTHER IN MY MOUTH AND GIVE IT A GOOD OLDE WHIRL AROUND.. ‘ERHHHHH NAH, THERE’S NOTHING QUIRKY ABOUT THESE, SIMPLE CHOCOLATE FILLED BISCUIT…AT LEAST ADD SOMETHING TO GIVE IT A PUNCH, CARAMEL TOP MAYBE?!’ I DUNKED, IT HELD ITS OWN BUT ITS SIMPLY A CHOCOLATE FILLED CRUNCHY BISCUIT NOTHING MORE…
ACCORDING TO MCVITES, ‘THEY’RE SPECIAL ON THE INSIDE’….NO THEY’RE NOT. ITS JUST CHOCOLATE. IM NOT SAYING CHOCOLATE ISIN’T SPECIAL BUT ITS NOT GOLD IS IT?! THE AD THAT GOES ALONG WITH THE BISCUITS IS PROPERLY LONG WINDED, NOT ENGAGING AND THE ONLY REASON I REMEMBER IT IS BECAUSE IT WAS A DIRECT/SIMILAR ADVERT TO THE ‘CADBURYS DIFFERENT ON THE INSIDE FINGERS’….SEE FOR YOURSELF…
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FUNNY THEY BOTH HAVE THE SAME TAG LINE, BUT AT LEAST THE CADBURY’S FINGERS SAY AND DO WHAT THEY SAY..’DIFFERENT ON THE INSIDE’ CLEARLY.
I DO THINK MCVITES NEED TO GO BACK TO THE DRAWING BOARD WITH THIS AS THIS ‘BISCUIT NEEDS TO BE RETIRED AND ON FULL PAY’ AS ITS JUST NOT CUTTING THE MARK. SADLY THIS CAN BE TOLD FROM ITS FACEBOOK LIKES AVERAGING ONLY 370 OR LESS TO DATE. MCVITES ARE ALL ABOUT BRITISH TRADITIONAL BICCY’S AND SOME WITH A TWIST, AKA THE ‘CARAMEL DIGESTIVE.’ THIS IS WHERE THEY THRIVE, I’M NOT SAYING INVENTING A NEW BISCUIT IS EASY, NOOOO BUT GENERALLY FOX’S DO THAT BEST A.K.A EXTREME CHOCOLATE CHUNK COOKIES (I DO ONE PACK IN A SIT IN, DRRIBBLE) I FEEL MCVITES CAN GIVE US BETTER AND JUST GIVE THIS BISCUIT AN EARLY RETIREMENT. I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT THEY COULD DO TO IMPROVEMENT THIS PRODUCT SO ALTOGETHER I FEEL IT SHOULD BE RETIRED AND MCVITES INVENT SOMETHING ELSE. IT STANDS NO CHANCE IN A MARKET DOMINATED BY DIGESTIVE, BOURBON, VIENNESE SWIRLS…IT’S YUM POWER IS @ 0%….
SORRY MCVITES ITS NOT AS ‘QUIRKY’ AS YOU FIRST THOUGHT…. 😦
PLUM! X
AS A PIONEER IN INDULGENCE, NOTHING BUT FINEST PASSES MY LIPS WITHOUT A GOOD OLDE YUM AND MUNCH. AND THAT  GOES FOR BISCUITS. MAN I LUVVE BISCUITS! FROM THE M&S COOKIES, SHORTBREAD AND RICH TEA TO FOX’S ‘EXCEEDINGLY GOOD BISCUITS’ (I CAN’T BEGIN TO LIST THEM BECAUSE THEY ARE ALL MY FAVOURITE) TO THE TRADITIONAL ‘MCVITES DIGESTIVES’  THE MARKET IS FULL OF THE MOST INDULGENT YET PLEASING TREATS OF BISCUITS EVER KNOWN TO MAN OR WOMAN..
EVER SINCE I CAN REMEMBER, I HAVE HAD PASSION FOR BISCUITS. AS A CHILD/TEENAGER I USED TO HIDE BISCUITS UNDERNEATH MY PILLOW OR DOWN A SIDE POUCH I MADE ON BED SO I COULD ALWAYS HAVE A MOMENT BEFORE GOING TO BED. INDULGENCE WAS AWAYS IN BLOOD, BUT WHY HIDE THEM YOU ASK?! WELL LETS JUST SAY PUPPY FAT WAS SOMETHING I CARRIED A LOT OF AND MY NAN HAD BANNED ME FROM THIS EXCEEDINGLY INDULGENT PLEASURE…LOL SAD BUT SOO TRUE.
BUT THOSE DAYS ARE TRULY GONE AND FEEL ITS ONLY RIGHT TO GIVE YOU AN A-Z OF  ‘DUNKING BISCUIT ETIQUETTE.’ I’LL REVIEW ALL THE BISCUITS ON THE MARKET, OLD NEW…YUMMY OR NOT I’LL TELL YA WHATS BEST FOR THAT MID-MORNING DUNK OR THAT AFTERNOON PICK ME UP YUM ‘DUNK’….
SO LET THE BISCUITS DO THE TALKING AS I FIRST CALL ‘QUIRKS’ TO THE REVIEW BOARD OF ‘INDULGENCE’….
ENJOY & #BEINDULGED
PLUM!
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